day 4 - a habit that you wish you didn’t have

This is an easy one for me; it's no contest.

Smoking.

Yes ... sadly I am a smoker. I am so young with a terrible bad habit that slowly kills me one stick at a time. To be honest though, I don't smoke as heavily as I used to when I was a little younger. Given the time or place or how heavily stressed I am, only those factors determine how much I will smoke in a day.

I do not smoke at home out of respect for my family. Yes, they do know I smoke and they are not too happy about it but what can they do? Anyways, I choose not to smoke at home just because I don't want to expose my little brother to it and I just do not want my parents to see me smoke a cigarette. I just feel weird about it. I admit though when no one is home, I will go out into our backyard and quickly have one but that is pretty much it.

I only smoke when I'm out with friends or with my boyfriend since he smokes as well. I also smoke when I am incredibly stressed out; I smoke very heavily. Something about having a cigarette really relaxes me. It's more of a psychological association thing really. I know that. I know that if I transfer that mode of relaxtion to something else, like a cup of tea, I could probably transfer my addiction to cigarettes onto something else less harmful to my body. Of course, it's not as easy as it looks.

I have tried to quit numerous times but I have never been perfectly successful. The longest I have ever quit was for four months but with a strange turn of events that I THOUGHT was a stress point in my life turned me back to smoking. My boyfriend and I have also tried to quit together but the stress of not having one and the horrible mood swings we both endure and take out on each other pretty much led us to quit quitting smoking. We must have "broken up" like 5 times in the times we have tried to quit smoking hahaha. We just get on each other's throats and it's not a good time. We do have a desire to quit someday. We just have to find a good time where we genuinely want to quit (which is really the first step to quitting) and stick with it. The first few weeks are always tough but I'm sure we would eventually get used to it. But for now ... we are still smokers and we know it's a horrible thing (and expensive thing) to keep doing.

I started smoking in highschool and don't ask me why. I still do not know why I started. I guess I was really stressed out in highschool about a lot of things and I was curious as to why people turned to cigarettes as a release. Little did I know that I would be hooked. I was one of those people that thought it wouldn't be so hard to stop. Naive. Even though I was just smoking menthols, I thought that I wouldn't get hooked because menthols seemed like a light brand that every social smoker would just smoke and never get hooked. I was wrong. Menthols ARE STILL cigarettes and still have nicotine and no matter what you say ... you will still get hooked whether it be you just have one a day to a "just a few" a day. Trust me. Menthols are just a lighter mintier taste and easier on your breathing but it's still a cigarette.

Just don't start smoking guys. It's a horrible habit. I wish I never started smoking but what can I do now? I need to find that will power to stop and it's not easy but one day at a time. One day at a time.

Labels: 30days

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day 4 - a habit that you wish you didn’t have

This is an easy one for me; it's no contest.

Smoking.

Yes ... sadly I am a smoker. I am so young with a terrible bad habit that slowly kills me one stick at a time. To be honest though, I don't smoke as heavily as I used to when I was a little younger. Given the time or place or how heavily stressed I am, only those factors determine how much I will smoke in a day.

I do not smoke at home out of respect for my family. Yes, they do know I smoke and they are not too happy about it but what can they do? Anyways, I choose not to smoke at home just because I don't want to expose my little brother to it and I just do not want my parents to see me smoke a cigarette. I just feel weird about it. I admit though when no one is home, I will go out into our backyard and quickly have one but that is pretty much it.

I only smoke when I'm out with friends or with my boyfriend since he smokes as well. I also smoke when I am incredibly stressed out; I smoke very heavily. Something about having a cigarette really relaxes me. It's more of a psychological association thing really. I know that. I know that if I transfer that mode of relaxtion to something else, like a cup of tea, I could probably transfer my addiction to cigarettes onto something else less harmful to my body. Of course, it's not as easy as it looks.

I have tried to quit numerous times but I have never been perfectly successful. The longest I have ever quit was for four months but with a strange turn of events that I THOUGHT was a stress point in my life turned me back to smoking. My boyfriend and I have also tried to quit together but the stress of not having one and the horrible mood swings we both endure and take out on each other pretty much led us to quit quitting smoking. We must have "broken up" like 5 times in the times we have tried to quit smoking hahaha. We just get on each other's throats and it's not a good time. We do have a desire to quit someday. We just have to find a good time where we genuinely want to quit (which is really the first step to quitting) and stick with it. The first few weeks are always tough but I'm sure we would eventually get used to it. But for now ... we are still smokers and we know it's a horrible thing (and expensive thing) to keep doing.

I started smoking in highschool and don't ask me why. I still do not know why I started. I guess I was really stressed out in highschool about a lot of things and I was curious as to why people turned to cigarettes as a release. Little did I know that I would be hooked. I was one of those people that thought it wouldn't be so hard to stop. Naive. Even though I was just smoking menthols, I thought that I wouldn't get hooked because menthols seemed like a light brand that every social smoker would just smoke and never get hooked. I was wrong. Menthols ARE STILL cigarettes and still have nicotine and no matter what you say ... you will still get hooked whether it be you just have one a day to a "just a few" a day. Trust me. Menthols are just a lighter mintier taste and easier on your breathing but it's still a cigarette.

Just don't start smoking guys. It's a horrible habit. I wish I never started smoking but what can I do now? I need to find that will power to stop and it's not easy but one day at a time. One day at a time.

Labels: 30days