My package from Ebay STILL has not come in. I e-mailed the seller and all she could tell me was to wait a few more days since it takes 4-6 weeks. It's already been 5 weeks so maybe another week? Freaking hell. It's never taken this long to get anything sent from Hong Kong before. Argh.

Went on a splurge at Staples today to buy office supplies for my office to finally get myself organized a little bit more. It was a fun experience holding the company credit card and just going ahead and buying what I need. Anyways, I got everything that I could remember I needed and organized my office. I feel much better now about it because it looks like there is less paper everywhere I can actually find a home for almost everything.


What I especially like about my new office stuff? My new corkboard/whiteboard I have there in the corner. I can finally keep notes where I can clearly see them and not have to lose anything in post-it notes all over my desk. I was thinking of just getting a weekly agenda but I would rather have the whiteboard and have everything planned out there because it's in my face and I can see it right away. I really like those folder holders I have on my desk too because I can actually have all the most important stuff right there within an arm's reach and they are all tucked in the right spots and not a huge pile of mess on my desk. I'm feeling quite happy about my office right now. What I really need to do next though is just get rid of these ugly paintings I have in here right now and replace them with something nicer. I was thinking of printing out one of my photography pieces and one of my best art/drawing pieces and frame them on the wall so that it feels more comfortable and presentable. Another tiny little thing I want for myself in the office? My own specialized coffee mug LOL. It's so cliche because everyone has their own coffee mug but I want one too just because it's my way of feeling like meshing with my work hahahahah. So I'm part of the cliche ... whatever!!

It has been a weird day though.

Firstly, good news was that I was able to go to Staples and splurge on whatever I wanted for my office.

Secondly, I just a text today from my sister-in-law that the store I bought my wedding dress from has burned down. It happened last night. Now I'm lucky because I actually have my wedding dress at my parent's house and GOOD THING I never decided for the store to hold it for me. But ... I don't know what to do about my alterations because I already pre-paid for it when my mom and I bought the dress. Either they refund me that amount or send me somewhere else and I get it done for free since I already paid for it. I don't know what's going to happen there. But I feel really bad for all the brides/bridesmaids/other women out there who have held their dresses in the store. They're all gone now. They would have to get another dress. I know I would be soooooooooooo upset if mine was gone because I am IN LOVE with my dress and I would never be able to find another dress that even compares to it.

Thirdly, I had a conference call with one of our clients here at work and they were very impressed with the report I did for them this quarter. It was a good feeling since one of my main bosses was right there in the conference call with me and he just gave me a big smile and a thumbs up. "One of the best, if not, THE BEST reconciliation report we have gotten". That made me feel good!

So it's been an up and down day. We will see what else happens because I still have 2 other meetings today. I guess it's been a easy day, work wise. I haven't had much time to actually "work" because of all the meetings and I got to go on a mini-office-shopping-spree. LOL. If only it was Friday today, then it would just be perfect because it would have been a perfect start for the weekend.

My parents are leaving for the Philippines on Saturday! So jealous. I could use a vacation. But it's sad because this is going to be my very first Thanksgiving without them. I normally look forward to my mom's Thanksgiving food and spending time with them at their house but they're going to be away. At least my fiance's family are coming over for Thanksgiving this weekend and it's always fun with them anyway. Plus I know the food will be good too. They are all incredible cooks on that side of the family. I'm going to get fat this weekend. Long weekend ... it's nice that there isn't work on Monday. Short work week next week!!!

I'm still waiting for my set-up details for my sub-domain so I hope to get the blog site up and running soon! I still have to plan out my layout and all that. I guess I have the weekend for that. My weekend is going to be busy because I want to start my site but at the same time I want some time draw and paint too. I'll try to squeeze in everything as much as I can!!

Labels: Family, food, holidays, life, thoughts, wedding, work

I ordered a battery charger for my camcorder in September because I have this awesome video camera to document significant moments in my life and I can't use it because I lost the charger. So I ordered it for a WICKED WICKED price and the seller said it was shipped September 10. What date is it now? OCTOBER 8th and IT IS STILL NOT HERE!! WTH?! I've never ever had to wait this long for a package to come in from E-Bay. The longest I have ever waited was 2 1/2 weeks not over an entire month and counting. It's frustrating. I know it's so awesome to be able to order stuff from E-bay because of good prices and all but it just takes wayyyyy too damn long to get it. Everyday I'm constantly checking for it since I had it shipped to the office but my assistant (well ... the purchasing girl), who checks the mail everyday to give me invoices, says that nothing has come yet. UGH. It's such a small thing too ... I just want it so I can finally play around with my camcorder. I haven't been able to use it in 6 months.

Okay I took the leap ... I applied for subdomain hosting ... I don't know if I am going to be accepted yet but I am a little excited. I have been missing being in the subdomain/domain part of the world wide web ever since I lost my domain (wickedful.info). I don't have the money right now to buy my own domain so why not ease myself in the subdomain world until I do right? If I do get accepted, I gotta get my shit in gear like refreshing my PHP coding skills, using wordpress again, building a nice layout ... all that. It's still just going to be a personal blog site (much like this one ... consider it just moved over and this be on hiatus for a while). I just miss having everything else attached to it. We will see. I hope I can make myself some time to set everything up IF I do get approved for it!


I saw this meme on Pinterest at about 1AM last night and I started laughing then I wanted to start crying because it was true. It's been true for at least a couple of months now so it was very conflicting. I was trying so hard to sleep last night but I just couldn't shut my brain off. My eyes felt so heavy and they stung because I was tired but I couldn't sleep! Every minute that went by felt like seconds because it would 1AM, then all of a sudden it's already 1:30Am and I kept thinking, "OMG ... I have to get up in 4 hours and I have had no sleep!". It was very very frustrating. That's why I was late for work today because I FINALLY fell asleep but my alarm went off and I must have snoozed it too many times. It's going to be no surprise if it happens again tonight.

[ UPDATE ] I got approved for subdomain hosting! I'll still blog on here for now until the new site is up and running and re-direct you guys over there! YAY! [ /UPDATE ]

Labels: life, self, thoughts, website, work

Back to work and let me tell you it was impossible to get up this morning. I was determined to be early today and it just didn't happen. I don't know what it is. Am I not hearing my alarm and/or am I just subconsciously turning it off? I think I am just not getting enough sleep. Oh well. But this is what I have to look forward to ... my work ...


This is my office at work where I am all by myself. Can be nice at times because I can concentrate when I need to but still ... can get a little lonely at times and I wander around once in a while to chat with people when I need a break from looking at the computer screen (I feel like I get cross-eyed from looking the computer for so long). That right there is what I consider "clean". LOL. Shows how busy I can get. My desk is normally messier than that with papers everywhere. Sometimes you can't even see my keyboard and you wonder how I even do any work with typing involved hahaha.

It's not all bad! Every few Fridays, we have office lunch days where we splurge on food, paid for by the company. Last Friday ... Chinese Food!! It's good food too and it's just down the road from us! I look forward to these days so that I won't have to go out and buy lunch or worry about what to eat for lunch!! I ate so much though. Felt like I was going to be in a coma because I was so full LOL.


I really like my job though, as hard as it is to get up in the morning for it. I like having very own office, I like the work I do and I feel important, which is nice. I feel like I have my own certain type of freedom and my own type of authority to do what I want. I work as hard as I can and I have the choice to take a little breaks whenever I feel like it (I usually like to go to the lunch room and make some toast or eat some cereal hahah). It's not easy work but I love it. Ever since I chose to do office work as my career, I have always wanted my own office, my own title, and my own freedom. I got all that and more! I love this company and I love how they actually care for you and I couldn't ask for anything better right now. I hope I can stay here for a very long time. I just have to keep working hard so I can stay stable and keep doing what I love.

Here's a little selfie of myself at work that I took because I was taking a break from my eyes being strained by the computer screen.

Labels: life, work

You know it's hard to get your name out there when you are trying to get recognition. I'm starting to realize that my love for art is growing and growing and I would just love to get an audience started as I keep progressing. It's just funny how different places commands different tastes, different views, and your audience can be very specific.

On Instagram, as soon as I post a picture of my work, I can get about 50 likes in a span of 2 hours. I post the same stuff on DeviantArt and I'll be lucky if someone will "favourite" it within a month. My blogspot art blog doesn't even get any attention whatsoever ... so I guess you go with whatever is good for you. I'm thinking of reaching out to tumblr nowadays too. I already have an account on there for my crochet stuff but maybe I can use it for some of my art stuff too. What do you think? If you were trying to showcase something that you love and work hard on, what would you do?

I am so happy it is Friday though. It's bittersweet right now because, yes, I am happy it's Friday but I'm still at work, waiting away for the day to be over so I can go home and relax. I want to start drawing because I have many ideas in my head. I want to play around with my tablet, I want to try out some watercolors ... I just want to do everything!! I'm hoping it's a chillaxing weekend so I have some time to myself and just relax at home. I feel like I don't get enough rest anymore and that I still need to catch up on 2 days worth of sleep. Sometimes it's hard though because one of us gets bored and wants to go do something so we still drag each other out of the house hahaha. Even more so, we havee the attention of some new friends so they always want to hang out with us. It's nice that we still get to go out and do things but I can't go out so late anymore. I'm getting old (HAHAHAHA). You know you're getting old when:

-You love the smell of coffee every morning and can't live without it
-Your back or SOMETHING hurts when you wake up in the morning
-You're already tired and want to go to bed before 10PM
-You still get up early even though you slept late the night before and can't fall back asleep anymore even when you desperately want to

There are so many more but those are the main ones I'm feeling. LOL. I'm not even 30 yet and I'm already complaining LOL. Sigh ... life is funny people.

Labels: art, drawing, inspirations, life, self, thoughts

It hasn't been a great couple of weeks. I have been too tired for my liking, stressed out and just plain unmotivated to do absolutely anything. I just don't understand it. I left work early yesterday because I was tired as shit. I was surprised I was even able to drive anywhere because I was super tired. Maybe my auto-pilot is better than I thought, who knows. I even slept early last night to help rejuvenate me a little and nothing. I'm still tired and grumpy and I am really really really hating feeling this way.

I don't like feeling lazy and unmotivated. Maybe it's because I am under a lot of stress and I am at a brink of just giving up at times which isn't good. It's going to leave an even bigger room for me to procrastinate and be useless. I have to somehow get my act together and start living it up.

I definitely have to start with sleep.
I tend to sleep late every night because I always have trouble sleeping. I think too much at night and at the same time I am a bit of a night owl. I need to start sleeping early and have a good 8 hours in. It's not good sleeping so late and always being late for work. Luckily I'm not in trouble for it but still, one of these days, it will bite me in the ass.

Maybe I need to exercise.
I stopped working out about 5 months ago because I got a job and had to no time to exercise anymore. I had great energy and looked great when I was working out. That could be a major factor.

Prioritize.
I always have trouble juggling between work, my home life, my family life and whatever else comes in between. I always feel like I don't have time for anything and that stresses me out. Just the other day, my mom called me and asked why I haven't called her in a while. I felt bad for that because I love and miss my family and to have my mom call me and ask me that breaks my heart especially since they are going on vacation in a week so I won't be able to see or talk to them for a good month. First step is to see them this weekend so that I can spend some time with them before they leave for vacation.

De-stress.
Easier said than done I have to say. I have tried to de-stress by drawing but it doesn't seem to be enough. I need to find something else that will just help me ease my mind and my body. I can feel it on my shoulders, my head and my back how tense I am. That's why I have been getting so many migraines lately. I guess exercise could fit into that or that I need to draw even MORE haha. Seriously ... I don't know how to de-stress. It's been so long where I've felt carefree that de-stressing is a foreign thing to me.

So I have to work on a few things. Hope the rest of this week goes by a lot better.

Labels: life, self, thoughts

This weekend was such a loungin', relaxing, somewhat-productive weekend. The benefits of having really shit weather is that neither one of us wanted to step outside in the cold crazy winds, large raindrop showers and cold, and grey ominous skies.

What did we do all weekend? Haha. Like I said, loungin' and relaxin'. We were up so late on Friday playing Grand Theft Auto 5. I have to say it's a fun game. I didn't really play per se but I got to roam around a bit and randomly punch some people haha. I watched my fiance play quite a bit and it's pretty fun to watch. A friend of his and him played all night and we were up until 4am. So that meant Saturday was a write-off. We were up late again on Saturday because UFC was on with some pretty good card fights. The most I moved around was cooking some lunch and dinner for us. Really good chicken ... mmm ... glad there are leftovers for me to eat tonight.

In the midst of all the game playing and lounging was more drawing. I am on a roll! I managed to finish one of my art projects that I am quite proud of. I took my sweet time with it and I have to say it really shows when you do. I carefully planned out everything (well almost everything). This particular one, I had the cherry blossom branch done a long time ago because I was originally designing it as a tattoo I would possible have for myself then I thought about it because I wanted to change it and ended up using it for an art project. Check it out. This is my progressive work then the final product!


My Work In Progress


The Finished Product - "Spring Beginning"
I did that in a matter of two days and already got myself started on a new one. I actually had an original of this one but the look is incredibly different and I wanted to make it look nicer with a different style. Plus ... I can't find the original. It's somewhere in my parent's house along with other artworks that I cannot find (which pisses me off). One day I'll find it. Here's the progress so far ...


Blue Breeze - Work in Progress
So I have been drawing a lot lately and it's nice. I even set myself up an instagram account just for my artworks just so I can keep track of what I am doing and it is separate from my personal life. My user name is sharbarart if you would like to check it out. I tried to post whatever I could into with all the artworks that I at least have in my folders on my computer and wow ... I didn't expect such a welcomed response. I had so many likes that I guess it was an ego boost to my drawing skills. Looking through all of them and seeing the progress made me realize that I have improved a lot over the years. I was always so scared to draw something really nice because I was traumatized back in highschool.

I had a sketchbook that was my PRIZED POSSESSION. It was some of my BEST WORK EVER. For something at that age and just a beginning to my art days, I had never felt so proud of myself when it came to drawing. It made me wish I had a scanner or something back then but they weren't around much at that time. Anyways, I took it to school one day and the damn thing got stolen!!! I knew EXACTLY where I put it because, of course, I loved it so damn much and it got stolen. Ever since that day, I have been scared of drawing something incredible and still am to this day. That's why when I do draw something "nice", I take a photo right away or scan it. I'm slowly getting back into it again and maybe one day I'll do some commissions and make some money. Maybe that could be the side business that I have always wanted to start ... Sounds like the only logical thing at this point because all of my other ideas don't make much sense to me.

Anyways ... That's my weekend and my update on my passion in life ... art.

Labels: art, drawing, inspiration, life, memories, thoughts

So I have been trying to draw and paint a lot more lately. With the cooler weather setting in slowly, this is my ultimate scene that I can say is my "relaxing time": I sit at my table, I'm wrapped in a nice warm blanket, a nice cup of hot coffee in once hand and the entire table is covered with my drawing pencils, markers, coloring pencils and watercolor paints and away I go with a funny show running in the background on TV. It might not be a great moment for most people but it is for me. It's my only time of the week where I can forget about my busy days at work and other daily stresses. I just focus on what I want to do and that is let my imagination run wild and draw.

Like I said last post, I've been pretty sporatic when it comes to my artwork because of so many factors. Mainly, it's about time. I don't have the time to do anything other than go to work, cook, clean, sleep and spend whatever time I can with my fiance. I've been really tired lately and I feel beaten down by time. These things kinda help though. I find some of my best work come from turmoil of some sorts. I remember looking back at some of my best drawings and I remember what I felt while I drew them. I was always letting out some big emotion and it was great that it showed through. So having all these daily stresses and bogged down emotions are a great motivator when I start drawing. Tunnel vision.


Above is something I drew back in February or March. I was actually listening to Bruno Mars' song "Talking To The Moon" and that song had a significant meaning to me at the time and I went with it. Plus I was wanting to be adventurous and try out my markers because I have always been very scared of them. I am not very good with them and was really scared that I would mess us really bad because I'm not very good with them but it turned out better than I thought. It's still not the greatest piece of work I have done but I'm happy considering my skill level with markers suck.


From my last post, I was saying how I was falling in love with watercolors but I needed to venture into more than just flowers and such. Since I love drawing girls and having that anime type style, I actually drew a girl and said, "Why the hell not try it out on her?" It turned out okay ... I'm not entirely happy with it. I think she's pretty but I could have done wayyy better on the dress or the hair but then again it's because of my watercolor painting skill not really being up to par. I want to be good!!!!! So I'm still practicing. I have a drawing in process right now that I'm planning on painting and I'll see how that goes. I'll try to take my time with it so that maybe it might turn out better.

What is your guys' way to let go, be free and relax?

Labels: drawing, inspiration, life, self, thoughts

I usually go through phases when it comes to art. I don't usually start drawing or doing artsy fartsy stuff unless I really have the urge and the motivation to do it. I never force myself or else my work just doesn't reflect what I can really do - It will really show that I'm not try and it will just look like shit.

However, I realized that around this time of year, my creativity takes peaks. I guess it makes sense ... the weather starts to turn to shit, I don't go out as much so I have the time and imagination to start drawing. For years I've told myself and other people that I just can't paint. It is true. I can't paint. I've tried a few times with the whole acrylic and canvas thing, tried in highschool with watercolors and wow ... compare that work with my pencil/ink drawings and you will be laughing your asses off at how crappy they were. So yeah, I can't paint. Then I discovered watercolor pencils. I actually bought a set about 4 years ago and only used them once (?). I didn't know how to use them properly so whatever I used them for didn't turn out very good which is probably why they were out of sight for 4 years. Through the wonders of the internet and the website DEVIANTART, I noticed that some people were drawing and watercolor painting at the same time and created beautiful stuff. As I looked closely into the details and the information that was given, they were using the same pencils I had!! And of course, through YOUTUBE (ahhh the beauty of that website), and looked at tutorials of how to use these curious things.

This is one of the pieces that I practiced on (the only one that was worthy to show ... the other pieces I tried to "paint" were pretty hilariously bad). NOT BAD!! I rather liked this one for being a hardcore beginner with watercolor. Now I am fascinated with it. I actually like it better than markers! Now I want to buy more watercolor pencils to expand my color inventory and maybe even actually try watercolor palette cakes!! I got very excited. What do you guys think?

I now have many ideas in my head because of watercolors. My fiance and I might actually collaborate soon on a nice piece. He loves fish and aquariums so I proposed that he draw me a couple of his favourite Koi fish and I will paint it for him so we can put it up on one of our walls in the house. He loved the idea! I might even do it for a cherry blossom tree that I have in mind (because I'm obsessed with cherry blossoms) and put that up in the house as well!

I have one drawing that I am working on right now (kicking myself that I left it at home. I would so have worked on it during lunch break at work) that I am little excited about because it will be my first painting of an anime-style drawing. I hope it turns out well. I plan to draw a lot more this fall and winter. I really want to build a really nice portfolio and make prints out of them and decorate the house with them.

I have always loved to draw and I couldn't believe that I would go for months on end not drawing anything. Then again like I said before ... if I don't feel like it, I don't feel like it. Never force yourself to do anything or else you will lose your passion and you will never be happy with what create. That is what art is to me after all. Art is the expression of who you are, what you are feeling and natural instinct. If you don't feel like it and are forcing yourself to do it no matter what it is (could be sculpting, drawing, cooking, baking, WHATEVER), it will show.

Labels: art, drawing, inspirations, life, thoughts

For the past few months (well to be realistic almost a year), I haven't worn too much makeup. There were a few reasons like I didn't want to spend the time doing it so I kept with just plain eyeliner and some lip balm; I didn't want to wear too much because I was having bad skin problems for a good few months and sometimes I was just too damn lazy. I do okay with just wearing the minimum since I didn't want to look like I hide behind make-up. I never really liked the look of looking like I was in some magazine photo shoot every single day. That's too much work and just TOO MUCH. The only reason I would really doll myself up was for special occasions and even so I didn't put on too much because I am an advocate of a natural look. There are ways to put on makeup and still look like yourself with just an extra flair of elegance, as I like to put it.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate putting on make-up or anything or don't like it in general. I LOVE MAKE-UP! I LOVE the concepts of creativity and challenges that come with it. I love the challenge of being asked for a certain look and how would I execute it. One such thing was the "natural" look I was talking about. It is sort of a challenge because you want to look like you aren't wearing too much makeup (looking almost au natural)but once you get started you end up looking like you are going to some special party when you are only going to work or school and you also spend a good half an hour in the bathroom when it's only suppose to take 10 minutes. I realized if you are person with already really nice skin, it makes a whole of a difference. I don't have the greatest skin so making my skin look decent already is pretty time consuming. The rest is easy, some eyeliner on the top, some blush, mascara and lip balm and away I go (that portion only takes about 5 minutes or less).

Where am I going with all this? I'm not even sure to be honest. I've just been thinking about make-up a lot lately because I do miss it. I miss playing around with the colours, making new looks, finding new ways to make things easier and prettier ... Now that I have a job where I should look a little more decent (more professional I guess since it's an office), I have been wanting to spruce myself up a little more to feel more confident and alive to last me during the day. Plus, I do want to be a freelance make-up artist one day as a side business so I feel like I need to get my bearings down again since it's been a while. I figured, I need to set myself up as an example before I go and start sprucing up OTHER people again. I know I have the skills, I just lack a little practice.

I have been watching a lot of you-tube videos lately too on certain looks. Some make me laugh because they say "natural look" and yet the person looks like she's going to a club and it's 9 in the morning. REALLY? Or I noticed that a lot of girls out there wear A LOT of make-up; like they have an inch of foundation on their face and I don't see how that's a natural look either. Some girls are really good and really show good comparisons and techniques and really do follow through on what their advertising. Good for you girls.

Well ... I'll continue to play around with my make-up at home and see what I can come up with. I already am planning on doing some quick make-up shopping today and see if I can pick up some new stuff for good prices. That's another thing ... I LOVE MAKE-UP but don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on it. I'm the bargain, drugstore type that buys good products but for good prices. I mean, yes, I have some stuff from MAC and Sephora and all that but it has to be an item that I have deemed worth it. I am NOT going to buy a lip liner for $30 when I can get a drugstore one of nearly the same color for $3. See what I mean? That's why I have been shopping around ebay too ... there are soooooooo many nice eyeshadow palettes out there that are 120 colours for only $15!! Imagine that!!

Sigh ... Now I am going to do some shopping on ebay HAHA.

Labels: inspiration, life, thoughts, work

Work has been so hectic for the last few days. There's nothing like being buried in paperwork. Literally. With the amount of paper on my desk, the banker boxes full of paper, on my shelves, baskets (hanging and cabinets storage) ... it is a surprise that I have not received a papercut yet.

Then here comes Friday where I work like mad since I stepped into my office to only find myself bored with nothing to do for at least an hour before going home. I still have a lot of work to do in respect to my workload but most of remaining work can't be done until Monday. This is what sucks about having some vendors and such on the other side of the country. They are hours ahead so I can't make any phonecalls to ask questions of what I need because they have all gone home for the day. I wish I could just go home now but I don't want to get in trouble for just leaving. Just 40 more minutes at this point then I finally get to go home and relax a bit.

I do love my job though. I love doing something that is actually related to my education, which is accounting. To finally be able to say "I'm an accountant" to someone who asks "what do you do for work?" is a warm and fuzzy feeling. I'm still new to this position though. I still have a lot to go through, learn and experience. That is why I have been working hard over the past few weeks. I was kinda just thrown into this fire of a position and had to learn a lot of things myself so I had a lot of catching up to do. Like I said, there's still a lot of work to do but I'm getting there. I've started finally getting used to certain things, it's easier now to go with the flow with certain tasks but always, a curve ball gets thrown at me and I have to deal with it. It's part of the challenge though so I'm not complaining. All I can say is that it definitely keeps me busy. One good thing about being busy at work is how fast time flies by during the day. I get to work at 8:30AM and by the time I know it's already lunch time. After lunch, then it's easy breezy - time flies even faster. By the time I know it, OH! It's time to go home! Normally, I say, "Oh crap! It's almost time to go home, I'm still not done!" but today is a different story. I'm actually WAITING to go home.

I just need to spruce up my office a bit more. I want to put up some pictures of my own on the wall, put up my own decorations and messages here and there. Maybe I'll put up a couple of posters. I have 2 little mini card pictures of my fiance and I up on my desk and that's pretty much it. It's nice to have my OWN real OFFICE but I want it to actually feel like it's mine by making it more comfortable for me. One day, I'll go out and print out some big prints of my photography with a nice frame and put it up in my office. I'll get a couple of cute little frames to put up maybe a nice picture of my fiance and I and maybe my family. That would be nice.

Labels: life, thoughts, work

The crochet bug has but me again. I have been wanting to buy some yarn. More needles sizes, and I have been looking for patterns to do and trying to make my own designs. 

Labels: crochet, life

Planning a wedding isn't easy. I've experienced a little of it when my future sis-in-law was getting married. Now my day is coming and I am starting to feel it. I've barely started and I am already feeling it. I'm in the process of trying to find a venue and it's not easy. I have so many things to consider and which things I need to sacrifice in order to get the venue I want and that will also fit my budget. It's hard to figure out what I can do without, what I absolutely need ... I saw one banquet hall that I had in my head for ages as my venue and when I FINALLY got to see it last weekend, I was disappointed.

First of all, it wasn't even the room I actually wanted because apparently it was too big for me with the number of guests I am anticipating and even if it was a fit for me, it was already booked up 6 months ago. Damn. I saw the one that was a "fit" for me anyway and wow ... I was not excited. It pretty much looked like a glorified community hall which is not what I wanted. So I'm axeing that one. Too bad because the lady was super nice.

I am making an appointment on Sunday with a hotel. The price seems incredibly right and the packages seem really good. I am wondering if it is too good to be true. The only thing is I want to see what it looks like in person. I don't want to get too excited again about the first one only to be disappointed so gravely. A couple of other things are worrying me though or irking me a bit. What kind of hotel/wedding ballroom has their offices closed on weekends??! Seriously! If I was a venue that could potentially hold such big events like weddings, I would be available on weekends. Why? Well first of all, planning these kinds of events are stressful and important and time consuming. In order to afford these kinds of events, people work and most people have 9-5 jobs. Their only time to be able to plan and accomodate is on weekends. So it makes sense to be open on weekends. This place doesn't which is annoying. That would mean I would constantly have to call or e-mail just to get my points across rather than being able to meet and drop by on weekends to discuss my concerns and issues. PLUS ... I cannot find any wedding reception pictures online for this venue. That is weird to me because because I can find any other wedding picture on any Vancouver venue online. This venue is a tough one and I now FOR SURE they hold wedding receptions ... It's raising a few flags on my mind like do they have good service? Is the ballroom nice? Is the food good? If these are all a "no" then maybe that's why I don't hear too much about it? Or am I just thinking too much about it. I guess I won't know until I actually take a look.

There is one other venue that I am in love with and I would take in a heartbeat. However, that being said, the only issue is the financial part of it. It's not a cheap venue and their down deposit certainly isn't either. My parents said they could help me with it but they won't be able to help me until November when they get back from their trip to the Philippines. I'm just scared that by that time someone would have already taken my date of the venue and then I'm screwed. BUT OMG it's beautiful!! I saw this one picture of it decorated online and I AM JUST IN LOVE WITH IT!! I was able to see the venue in person too and it was very nice. My parents even loved it. The whole area is nice. Golf Courses always make nice reception venues because of the views and the ambiance.

I am determined to get a venue soon though. I want that off my list by the end of September at the latest. And once I get a venue, I am going to talk to the priest of my church and start on that marriage course right away. The venue and church are the most important things right now. Everything else can wait a few months because I don't need them right away. My heart starts to skip a beat everytime I think about what's next because it's giving me anxiety that I can't plan all of this and that things are going to go to shit. I think I'm just stressing out too much so I have to give it some time. You can't plan a wedding in a matter of days. It takes time and effort. But it takes money. Saving money for this event is a whole other headache that I do not care to even think about right now. My goodness ... Kari is right about the whole thing ... just elope and have a couple of friends around in the middle of the park. HAHAH. I like the way you think girly girl.

Labels: life, thoughts, wedding

You know what I'm missing now that I am sitting in front of a computer every day? Blogging. Not just blogging. I miss having my own site. I miss having my own domain and tinkering around with layouts for wordpress and all that. I miss playing with my photoshop to create layouts and play around with coding. Now before I start up again, I want to really think about it because it's a project ... an ongoing project that I actually want to continue for a long time. It's been so long since I have played with HTML/CSS stuff that I am considering myself a newbie all over again.

I could start off slow and just make a new layout for this blogger just to get my bearings again. Really, once school is over and my exams are out of the way, I will have some time again to be reaquainted with my photoshop and my laptop. So I guess I won't really know how I feel about a future dedication until I am done finals. I think I will just start off slow. I'll revamp my blogger and see what I can do.

I am no stranger to Photoshop. I have been on it here and there trying to design my wedding invations and programs. That's a completely different thing though. That's just design and print off. Changing a layout is so much more work because coding is an ongoing process to see what works and what doesn't. I normally would spend hours just coding and coding with lots of frustration about why my left sidebar column won't show up and why my entries are wayyyyyy below than where they should be. I'm starting to get frustrated just thinking about it haha.

I do need more projects though. Without school, it's nothing but work, cook and sleep. I guess it would be nice to just stay at home and design/code layouts. I wont' have to go out as often and have a chance to save some money. Weddings are expensive after all.

Actually, one of my goals right now is to get back up to par with my coding because my fiance might want to restart his business again and he would want me to set up his website. That would be a fun project to do and it would be great if his business was successful as well! I have always wanted to have my own business but I don't know what to do a business about. Well that's a lie. What I really want to have a side business in is becoming a freelance makeup artist. It's difficult though. There are so many freelance makeup artists out there already who are established and who have the education.

I've never been to a beauty school. I would like to but I think at this point in my life, it would be a waste of time and money. I do love makeup though. I love playing with the colors, trying out new looks and applying it on other people. I know a lot of the basics and tips and tricks out there. I just need a push to get started. I need the equipment, I need the portfolio, the need the clientele. I have a few people who are willing to be my models and help me start a portfolio which is nice. I just need to save up money for a new camera because I don't have my DSLR anymore and I have always missed it so very much. My neighbour friend has one that she said she's always willing to lend me anytime I need it so I guess I can always use that if I really need it until I have the money to buy my own. This is a dream that I know I really have to plan out and think carefully about. It's not something that will boom right away. I need a lot of practice and a lot of equipment to get me started. When I have more time I will ask to practice on my friends and take their photos and make a portfolio somehow. Eventually I will have my own website to post these in and maybe someday I can become more established.

It's a dream for now but it's something that I have been thinking of for a while. It's actually something I have been thinking about ever since I got engaged. I was thinking about hiring someone to do my make-up or if I should do my own. Then when I was researching on local make-up bridal artists, I saw what they were charging, their styles and I thought to myself, OMG I can do that!! Why don't I do that as a side job?! Of course it is easier said than done, that's why it's a dream for now.

One of these days I'll be able to do it.

Labels: inspiration, life, thoughts

So it's been a couple of months and what is new?  Well I am officially full-time now at my job!  I am now an accountant/analyst for my company.  It's exciting because I've only been here for about 5 months and I have already been promoted to a position that any accounting student would dream of. 

It's not that easy though.  I've kinda just been thrown into the fire here and I have to learn a bunch of things by myself.  It's been a little stressful but I'm slowly learning things as I go along.  At least I get my own office now.  Still trying to figure out how to organize everything and I plan on buying a few things to make this office more "mine" so that I feel more comfortable.  I'm a little buried in paperwork but I'm sure it will get better as I go along.  For now, it's great being able to actually have a "real" job and have a job that I have always wanted for a while now. 

Other than my new official job, nothing else much is new.  I am deciding to take a semester off from school to concentrate on work and saving some money for the wedding.  I really want to finally start planning things and putting down deposits so I am trying my hardest to save up for it.  I have a bunch of ideas in my  head that I want to execute and I am hoping I get the dream wedding I have been wanting.

I just have to get over the hump of finishing my final exams next week.  I start to get those queasy, uneasy feelings whenever I think about it.  I have exams.  I cannot wait to get them done and over with.  This whole week is going to be dedicated to studying and praying that I at least pass my exams.  After these exams, I am home free and I can just concentrate on work!!  It's going to be a rough week but I have to suck it up and do it.  Wish me luck!!

I want a little bit of break though.  That is why I am having a girls' night with my best friends this weekend for some sushi and drinks.  We all have been working hard this summer and we haven't seen each other in such a long time.  I miss them so much!!  It'll be nice to get together with them, catch up, have some laughs and hopefully have a good night.  I cannot wait!!

Labels: friends, life, school, thoughts, work

I am officially 28 years old today! It's been so much fun for the past few days in celebration of my birth.  On Friday my boss at work decided to treat the whole office to a luncheon because it was my birthday! Plus they were sweet enough to get me a birthday card with everyone's signatures and everything. It means so much to me because I've only been at this job for a couple of months and it's nice to feel that I have been welcomed to the company and feel like I've made friends because I love each and everyone of them!! 

Labels: birthday, Family, life, memories, work

It has been a while my long long blog friend. Life has held me back in a tug of war in so many directions that I feel my limbs aching in every inch possible.

What is new? My long awaited hard work in my weight maintenance has finally shown results!!!!



There is my before and after with a 25-pound difference. All that exercising and watching what I ate has finally paid off!!! It feels really good to wear certain clothes now and have confidence in myself. I no longer feel so ashamed of myself and feel like a hermit. I have more energy and I just feel proud. It just takes time people!!! Don't give up!!!!

Other news?! I finally got a job that I am going to be starting in a couple of weeks. Finally after 6 months of searching and searching and attending interviews I got one!! It feels great because the position is close to my career choice with a promising full-time in the future with decent pay! I can finally start saving for my wedding and have a continuous supply of income!! I'm excited! I hope I do we'll in this position and continue for a long time to come!!

Speaking of wedding, I have been putting it on hold for a while because of school and the fact that I have been unemployed. But my fiancé and I have been talking and we decided to officially set a date of August next year!! I am very excited and I have that spark again of wanting to browse everything "wedding". I have made a few changes to my plans an ideas and I hope everything goes well. I will definitely update in how all that goes. Don't be surprised if this blog becomes a "wedding" blog for a little while lol. I k ow its going to be quite an experience planning a wedding and I'm sure if I blog some tips and things, maybe other brides might find it helpful. I normally am not very good at organizing events and planning things so if I find something helpful, I'm posting it. Luckily I have great girls to help me out (their jobs pretty much revolves around planning things and research already) so hopefully I won't have to stress too much.

I'm in my second last semester right now. It's FINALS TIME!! So far I have passed 1 already so I'm stressing balls about passing another 2 for next week. Studying in a room for hours at a time is not all that fun but gotta do what you gotta do right?! I hope I pass everything so that I can graduate in August!! I'm excited for that too!! I can potentially be done with school in 4 months and be full-time in the workforce!!!! I so badly want to be a working girl and get on with my plans for life. Wish me luck!!!

Labels: Fitness, life, school, wedding

Amazing how simple motivations can really kick start your will and your spirit.  I am officially addicted to working out and keeping healthy.  I know it's a hard concept to comprehend for some people because I used to be one of those people.  It was always hard for me to understand how people can just workout all the time on their own free will.

That's where the motivation and addiction come into one relationship.  I have a motivation to workout because I am at a point in my life where I am serious about losing some weight and overall boost my self-esteem and gain some confidence in myself.  I pushed that motivated as hard as I could over the last couple of week and where did it get me?  I have lost 2 pounds in a week and another 8 in the last 5 days.  I went down 2 pants sizes and have gained confidence in myself whenever I look at myself now.  How can you say that you would quit after that?  That's where the addiction comes in.  Now knowing that it's possible to lose my wanted weight and possibly lose more and ACTUALLY get to my ultimate weight goal ... I can't stop now.  I'm in too deep and I am doing so well.

To get to my dream weight, I only have to lose 10 more pounds and just keep maintaining it.  I haven't slowed down or slacked off any way since I found out I lose 10 pounds and that's the way to do it.  Just this morning, I was actually up at 6:30am, went for a sunrise morning run for half an hour and continued to do my TAPOUT XT workout for another 50 minutes. 

Nothing is stopping this girl from getting what she wants.  This is one of the first things in my physical life that I have never given up on so far.  I have tried to workout before and quit within a few days but the fact that I have gone for almost a month now and haven't stopped and actually seen results ... I have never been prouder of myself.  This is a shining moment for me.  I don't know if any of you understand what I'm talking about here but if you ever (in whatever it is that you do, it doesn't have to be about fitness) feel so proud and so happy about yourself like you have never before, keep going.  Don't give up.  It's all worth in the end.

It's never easy but it's worth it.

Labels: Fitness, inspiration, life, self

So I have started working out again. Not a start now, quit later workout like how most resolutions go about because I am quite serious this time around. I have had a lot of things emotionally that has been carving away at me lately and I have finally had enough of it so I started.

I started doing jogs again. I jogged every other day for the past 2 weeks for at least half an hour to start since I'm a beginner runner. I was also including in strength training since my fiancé has weights now.

It was difficult at first because my body wasn't ready for hard workouts but I stuck with it and now I can jog for more than just a lap around the park.

What I'm most excite about is starting TAPOUT XT! I was watching Dr. Oz on Tv one day an they did a bit in Mike Karpenko, a MMA trainer/fighter and his workout regimes that he has put out. It is a 90-day program with about 9 or 10 workouts in the program (I think).

It is like a cross between P90x, Rushfit, and Insanity but A LOT MORE FUN and easier to do. It's not that easy though. You really do have to put the effort in but the moves are fun and i am able to follow. I've been doing it for a week now and so far I've already lost a few pounds and went down 2 pants sizes overall ever since I started running.

Tapout XT is pretty amazing. I actually look forward to each session every morning. I am feeling very fit and sooooo happy to already see results!!! I never had these kinds if result doing P90X in a short period of time. I can really see myself fitting into my goal jeans very quickly.

It's helping me eat healthier too because it just puts me in that state of mind. After a good workout day, I look at junk food that normally I would start to eat and feel guilty if I even touched it. My stomach doesn't actually want it anymore. It doesn't crave it which is mind-boggling to me. In starting to eat more greens, drink coffee with less cream (coffee is my guilty pleasure so I'm still working on it haha), and I don't eat past 8pm.

I'm really proud of myself. Why in the hell would i quit now when it's actually working? This is no longer a resolution, it's a life choice. I am actually excited for the summer so I can wear my pretty summer clothes and not die in heat because I still cover myself up with light sweaters to hide my fat.

My confidence is starting to come back and I am having fun sorting out fun outfits again.

For those of you really try into get fit and shed some pounds, try Tapout XT. It works if you really stick with it. One session can torch about 700-800 calories. With my current weight an height I torch about 878 calories with one session a day. Sometimes I even do 2 sessions a day and burn another 800 calories an have decent meals during the day and still lose weight! It's pretty incredible guys. Try it.

This is my stepping stone to Insanity. Insanity workout is still TOO intense for me because I haven't built up endurance and conditioning yet. After I'm done with this program and continue to jog every other day then I'll try Insanity and continue on with fitness.

I'm going to look so damn good in my wedding dress hee hee!! :D

Labels: Fitness, life, self

Having my kitchenaid stand-up mixer is dangerous. I have been baking like crazy. I've already made so many cookies, cakes and I was able to make crepes for the very first time! I constantly look for baking ingredients in anticipation of what I can bake next. My fridge is already stocked with cream cheese, milk, sour cream, creams, butter and I have an endless amount of sugar, flour, and icing sugar.

I'm always on Pinterest too looking for future recipes. I just love to cook and bake. I never thought I would love it so much. I always watched my mom cook and loved her cooking but never thought I, myself, would be decent at it. My mother even said to me that before she did t know how to cook at all!! She never started cooking until she got married and just learned from cookbooks.

I guess I was the same way. I never really started cooking until I started dating my fiancé. The one advantage I had was that my mom taught me along the way. She just had to learn from scratch with no help whatsoever. So I guess I'm lucky that way.

I'm lucky too that my fiancé loves my cooking. It feels good to know that he has his favorites of mine and always asks the to cook certain things cause they're really good. Boosts the ego if you know what I mean. It makes me feel better that I can cook decently since my mom is a good cook and his mom is an incredibly good cook too! It's like a bar I had to jump over because of course moms are an important part of some men's lives, especially when it comes to cooking.

Someday I would love to have my future son say, "my mom makes the best food! Nothing beats it!" OR "I love the way my mom makes it". Have a legacy you know?

That's why I plan on documenting all my recipes in a book or something and keep it for years and pass it on from generation to generation. My mom still has her very first cookbook at her house too. It looks so ratty and old but it's a TREASURE. I want something like that except it will all be in my writing. I want my recipes to be a family treasure.

What are your treasures? It doesn't have to do with cooking. Just something that you know you would cherish for a very long time.

Labels: life, memories

I guess it is nice to be able to blog before the New Year.  Rack up all the entries I can before a new year starts.  I guess I really do have the time since I'm pretty much free for a little while until the school semester starts again.  My fiance is at work so there's not much for me to do but cook, clean and blog!

Speaking of cooking, I realized how much I missed my food blog.  Since I have had some time off, I have been cooking lots and I miss blogging about all the things I have been trying in the kitchen.  I'm thinking of starting a food blog again.  Actually, I already created a new blog just for it but I haven't actually started doing anything with it yet.  I'm still trying to figure out how to start it all and how to go about it. 

In my old food blog, I put up a bunch of my own recipes and instructions but I lost it all and I was too dumb and careless to back it all up so I can't remember what I had already put up.  It would have been nice to just transfer over those entries rather than just starting all over again.  But maybe ... it's better to start all over again.  I can make things more focused and more organized.  I actually not only want recipes but I wanted to do some reviews too of foods that I will try and restaurants that I will eat at. 

I was also thinking of putting up other people's recipes that I want to try and show if it turned out okay or not.  Like right now I am trying a Hainanese Chicken recipe that I saw online and I would like to give my take on it and see if I actually made it right and if it was what I hoped it would turn out like.

It doesn't sound like a bad idea right?  That way too it's kinda like a database for me and my recipes.  I have a habit of losing my recipes when I actually need them.  I'm not planning on putting ALL my recipes online though.  There are some that I would love to keep to myself and make them a secret to keep my wow factor when it comes to feeding people.  I have plans for those recipes and eventually pass them down to my future children too and hopefully they can keep them a secret. - like a recipe that's passed down from generation to generation.

So watch out for that.  I will work on this food blog of mine and hopefully get it up and running soon! I made up my mind!

Labels: food, life, thoughts, website

BLOGGER ARCHIVES March 2010 March 2011 April 2011 September 2011 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 June 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013



Caretaker Shar
Site Type Personal
Rebirth December, 2012
Layout Designer & Credits & &
Made By Photoshop CS4
Host Blogspot

[ 2 comments ]

My package from Ebay STILL has not come in. I e-mailed the seller and all she could tell me was to wait a few more days since it takes 4-6 weeks. It's already been 5 weeks so maybe another week? Freaking hell. It's never taken this long to get anything sent from Hong Kong before. Argh.

Went on a splurge at Staples today to buy office supplies for my office to finally get myself organized a little bit more. It was a fun experience holding the company credit card and just going ahead and buying what I need. Anyways, I got everything that I could remember I needed and organized my office. I feel much better now about it because it looks like there is less paper everywhere I can actually find a home for almost everything.


What I especially like about my new office stuff? My new corkboard/whiteboard I have there in the corner. I can finally keep notes where I can clearly see them and not have to lose anything in post-it notes all over my desk. I was thinking of just getting a weekly agenda but I would rather have the whiteboard and have everything planned out there because it's in my face and I can see it right away. I really like those folder holders I have on my desk too because I can actually have all the most important stuff right there within an arm's reach and they are all tucked in the right spots and not a huge pile of mess on my desk. I'm feeling quite happy about my office right now. What I really need to do next though is just get rid of these ugly paintings I have in here right now and replace them with something nicer. I was thinking of printing out one of my photography pieces and one of my best art/drawing pieces and frame them on the wall so that it feels more comfortable and presentable. Another tiny little thing I want for myself in the office? My own specialized coffee mug LOL. It's so cliche because everyone has their own coffee mug but I want one too just because it's my way of feeling like meshing with my work hahahahah. So I'm part of the cliche ... whatever!!

It has been a weird day though.

Firstly, good news was that I was able to go to Staples and splurge on whatever I wanted for my office.

Secondly, I just a text today from my sister-in-law that the store I bought my wedding dress from has burned down. It happened last night. Now I'm lucky because I actually have my wedding dress at my parent's house and GOOD THING I never decided for the store to hold it for me. But ... I don't know what to do about my alterations because I already pre-paid for it when my mom and I bought the dress. Either they refund me that amount or send me somewhere else and I get it done for free since I already paid for it. I don't know what's going to happen there. But I feel really bad for all the brides/bridesmaids/other women out there who have held their dresses in the store. They're all gone now. They would have to get another dress. I know I would be soooooooooooo upset if mine was gone because I am IN LOVE with my dress and I would never be able to find another dress that even compares to it.

Thirdly, I had a conference call with one of our clients here at work and they were very impressed with the report I did for them this quarter. It was a good feeling since one of my main bosses was right there in the conference call with me and he just gave me a big smile and a thumbs up. "One of the best, if not, THE BEST reconciliation report we have gotten". That made me feel good!

So it's been an up and down day. We will see what else happens because I still have 2 other meetings today. I guess it's been a easy day, work wise. I haven't had much time to actually "work" because of all the meetings and I got to go on a mini-office-shopping-spree. LOL. If only it was Friday today, then it would just be perfect because it would have been a perfect start for the weekend.

My parents are leaving for the Philippines on Saturday! So jealous. I could use a vacation. But it's sad because this is going to be my very first Thanksgiving without them. I normally look forward to my mom's Thanksgiving food and spending time with them at their house but they're going to be away. At least my fiance's family are coming over for Thanksgiving this weekend and it's always fun with them anyway. Plus I know the food will be good too. They are all incredible cooks on that side of the family. I'm going to get fat this weekend. Long weekend ... it's nice that there isn't work on Monday. Short work week next week!!!

I'm still waiting for my set-up details for my sub-domain so I hope to get the blog site up and running soon! I still have to plan out my layout and all that. I guess I have the weekend for that. My weekend is going to be busy because I want to start my site but at the same time I want some time draw and paint too. I'll try to squeeze in everything as much as I can!!

Labels: Family, food, holidays, life, thoughts, wedding, work

[ 0 comments ]

I ordered a battery charger for my camcorder in September because I have this awesome video camera to document significant moments in my life and I can't use it because I lost the charger. So I ordered it for a WICKED WICKED price and the seller said it was shipped September 10. What date is it now? OCTOBER 8th and IT IS STILL NOT HERE!! WTH?! I've never ever had to wait this long for a package to come in from E-Bay. The longest I have ever waited was 2 1/2 weeks not over an entire month and counting. It's frustrating. I know it's so awesome to be able to order stuff from E-bay because of good prices and all but it just takes wayyyyy too damn long to get it. Everyday I'm constantly checking for it since I had it shipped to the office but my assistant (well ... the purchasing girl), who checks the mail everyday to give me invoices, says that nothing has come yet. UGH. It's such a small thing too ... I just want it so I can finally play around with my camcorder. I haven't been able to use it in 6 months.

Okay I took the leap ... I applied for subdomain hosting ... I don't know if I am going to be accepted yet but I am a little excited. I have been missing being in the subdomain/domain part of the world wide web ever since I lost my domain (wickedful.info). I don't have the money right now to buy my own domain so why not ease myself in the subdomain world until I do right? If I do get accepted, I gotta get my shit in gear like refreshing my PHP coding skills, using wordpress again, building a nice layout ... all that. It's still just going to be a personal blog site (much like this one ... consider it just moved over and this be on hiatus for a while). I just miss having everything else attached to it. We will see. I hope I can make myself some time to set everything up IF I do get approved for it!


I saw this meme on Pinterest at about 1AM last night and I started laughing then I wanted to start crying because it was true. It's been true for at least a couple of months now so it was very conflicting. I was trying so hard to sleep last night but I just couldn't shut my brain off. My eyes felt so heavy and they stung because I was tired but I couldn't sleep! Every minute that went by felt like seconds because it would 1AM, then all of a sudden it's already 1:30Am and I kept thinking, "OMG ... I have to get up in 4 hours and I have had no sleep!". It was very very frustrating. That's why I was late for work today because I FINALLY fell asleep but my alarm went off and I must have snoozed it too many times. It's going to be no surprise if it happens again tonight.

[ UPDATE ] I got approved for subdomain hosting! I'll still blog on here for now until the new site is up and running and re-direct you guys over there! YAY! [ /UPDATE ]

Labels: life, self, thoughts, website, work

[ 1 comments ]

Back to work and let me tell you it was impossible to get up this morning. I was determined to be early today and it just didn't happen. I don't know what it is. Am I not hearing my alarm and/or am I just subconsciously turning it off? I think I am just not getting enough sleep. Oh well. But this is what I have to look forward to ... my work ...


This is my office at work where I am all by myself. Can be nice at times because I can concentrate when I need to but still ... can get a little lonely at times and I wander around once in a while to chat with people when I need a break from looking at the computer screen (I feel like I get cross-eyed from looking the computer for so long). That right there is what I consider "clean". LOL. Shows how busy I can get. My desk is normally messier than that with papers everywhere. Sometimes you can't even see my keyboard and you wonder how I even do any work with typing involved hahaha.

It's not all bad! Every few Fridays, we have office lunch days where we splurge on food, paid for by the company. Last Friday ... Chinese Food!! It's good food too and it's just down the road from us! I look forward to these days so that I won't have to go out and buy lunch or worry about what to eat for lunch!! I ate so much though. Felt like I was going to be in a coma because I was so full LOL.


I really like my job though, as hard as it is to get up in the morning for it. I like having very own office, I like the work I do and I feel important, which is nice. I feel like I have my own certain type of freedom and my own type of authority to do what I want. I work as hard as I can and I have the choice to take a little breaks whenever I feel like it (I usually like to go to the lunch room and make some toast or eat some cereal hahah). It's not easy work but I love it. Ever since I chose to do office work as my career, I have always wanted my own office, my own title, and my own freedom. I got all that and more! I love this company and I love how they actually care for you and I couldn't ask for anything better right now. I hope I can stay here for a very long time. I just have to keep working hard so I can stay stable and keep doing what I love.

Here's a little selfie of myself at work that I took because I was taking a break from my eyes being strained by the computer screen.

Labels: life, work

[ 1 comments ]

You know it's hard to get your name out there when you are trying to get recognition. I'm starting to realize that my love for art is growing and growing and I would just love to get an audience started as I keep progressing. It's just funny how different places commands different tastes, different views, and your audience can be very specific.

On Instagram, as soon as I post a picture of my work, I can get about 50 likes in a span of 2 hours. I post the same stuff on DeviantArt and I'll be lucky if someone will "favourite" it within a month. My blogspot art blog doesn't even get any attention whatsoever ... so I guess you go with whatever is good for you. I'm thinking of reaching out to tumblr nowadays too. I already have an account on there for my crochet stuff but maybe I can use it for some of my art stuff too. What do you think? If you were trying to showcase something that you love and work hard on, what would you do?

I am so happy it is Friday though. It's bittersweet right now because, yes, I am happy it's Friday but I'm still at work, waiting away for the day to be over so I can go home and relax. I want to start drawing because I have many ideas in my head. I want to play around with my tablet, I want to try out some watercolors ... I just want to do everything!! I'm hoping it's a chillaxing weekend so I have some time to myself and just relax at home. I feel like I don't get enough rest anymore and that I still need to catch up on 2 days worth of sleep. Sometimes it's hard though because one of us gets bored and wants to go do something so we still drag each other out of the house hahaha. Even more so, we havee the attention of some new friends so they always want to hang out with us. It's nice that we still get to go out and do things but I can't go out so late anymore. I'm getting old (HAHAHAHA). You know you're getting old when:

-You love the smell of coffee every morning and can't live without it
-Your back or SOMETHING hurts when you wake up in the morning
-You're already tired and want to go to bed before 10PM
-You still get up early even though you slept late the night before and can't fall back asleep anymore even when you desperately want to

There are so many more but those are the main ones I'm feeling. LOL. I'm not even 30 yet and I'm already complaining LOL. Sigh ... life is funny people.

Labels: art, drawing, inspirations, life, self, thoughts

[ 0 comments ]

It hasn't been a great couple of weeks. I have been too tired for my liking, stressed out and just plain unmotivated to do absolutely anything. I just don't understand it. I left work early yesterday because I was tired as shit. I was surprised I was even able to drive anywhere because I was super tired. Maybe my auto-pilot is better than I thought, who knows. I even slept early last night to help rejuvenate me a little and nothing. I'm still tired and grumpy and I am really really really hating feeling this way.

I don't like feeling lazy and unmotivated. Maybe it's because I am under a lot of stress and I am at a brink of just giving up at times which isn't good. It's going to leave an even bigger room for me to procrastinate and be useless. I have to somehow get my act together and start living it up.

I definitely have to start with sleep.
I tend to sleep late every night because I always have trouble sleeping. I think too much at night and at the same time I am a bit of a night owl. I need to start sleeping early and have a good 8 hours in. It's not good sleeping so late and always being late for work. Luckily I'm not in trouble for it but still, one of these days, it will bite me in the ass.

Maybe I need to exercise.
I stopped working out about 5 months ago because I got a job and had to no time to exercise anymore. I had great energy and looked great when I was working out. That could be a major factor.

Prioritize.
I always have trouble juggling between work, my home life, my family life and whatever else comes in between. I always feel like I don't have time for anything and that stresses me out. Just the other day, my mom called me and asked why I haven't called her in a while. I felt bad for that because I love and miss my family and to have my mom call me and ask me that breaks my heart especially since they are going on vacation in a week so I won't be able to see or talk to them for a good month. First step is to see them this weekend so that I can spend some time with them before they leave for vacation.

De-stress.
Easier said than done I have to say. I have tried to de-stress by drawing but it doesn't seem to be enough. I need to find something else that will just help me ease my mind and my body. I can feel it on my shoulders, my head and my back how tense I am. That's why I have been getting so many migraines lately. I guess exercise could fit into that or that I need to draw even MORE haha. Seriously ... I don't know how to de-stress. It's been so long where I've felt carefree that de-stressing is a foreign thing to me.

So I have to work on a few things. Hope the rest of this week goes by a lot better.

Labels: life, self, thoughts

[ 3 comments ]

This weekend was such a loungin', relaxing, somewhat-productive weekend. The benefits of having really shit weather is that neither one of us wanted to step outside in the cold crazy winds, large raindrop showers and cold, and grey ominous skies.

What did we do all weekend? Haha. Like I said, loungin' and relaxin'. We were up so late on Friday playing Grand Theft Auto 5. I have to say it's a fun game. I didn't really play per se but I got to roam around a bit and randomly punch some people haha. I watched my fiance play quite a bit and it's pretty fun to watch. A friend of his and him played all night and we were up until 4am. So that meant Saturday was a write-off. We were up late again on Saturday because UFC was on with some pretty good card fights. The most I moved around was cooking some lunch and dinner for us. Really good chicken ... mmm ... glad there are leftovers for me to eat tonight.

In the midst of all the game playing and lounging was more drawing. I am on a roll! I managed to finish one of my art projects that I am quite proud of. I took my sweet time with it and I have to say it really shows when you do. I carefully planned out everything (well almost everything). This particular one, I had the cherry blossom branch done a long time ago because I was originally designing it as a tattoo I would possible have for myself then I thought about it because I wanted to change it and ended up using it for an art project. Check it out. This is my progressive work then the final product!


My Work In Progress


The Finished Product - "Spring Beginning"
I did that in a matter of two days and already got myself started on a new one. I actually had an original of this one but the look is incredibly different and I wanted to make it look nicer with a different style. Plus ... I can't find the original. It's somewhere in my parent's house along with other artworks that I cannot find (which pisses me off). One day I'll find it. Here's the progress so far ...


Blue Breeze - Work in Progress
So I have been drawing a lot lately and it's nice. I even set myself up an instagram account just for my artworks just so I can keep track of what I am doing and it is separate from my personal life. My user name is sharbarart if you would like to check it out. I tried to post whatever I could into with all the artworks that I at least have in my folders on my computer and wow ... I didn't expect such a welcomed response. I had so many likes that I guess it was an ego boost to my drawing skills. Looking through all of them and seeing the progress made me realize that I have improved a lot over the years. I was always so scared to draw something really nice because I was traumatized back in highschool.

I had a sketchbook that was my PRIZED POSSESSION. It was some of my BEST WORK EVER. For something at that age and just a beginning to my art days, I had never felt so proud of myself when it came to drawing. It made me wish I had a scanner or something back then but they weren't around much at that time. Anyways, I took it to school one day and the damn thing got stolen!!! I knew EXACTLY where I put it because, of course, I loved it so damn much and it got stolen. Ever since that day, I have been scared of drawing something incredible and still am to this day. That's why when I do draw something "nice", I take a photo right away or scan it. I'm slowly getting back into it again and maybe one day I'll do some commissions and make some money. Maybe that could be the side business that I have always wanted to start ... Sounds like the only logical thing at this point because all of my other ideas don't make much sense to me.

Anyways ... That's my weekend and my update on my passion in life ... art.

Labels: art, drawing, inspiration, life, memories, thoughts

[ 1 comments ]

So I have been trying to draw and paint a lot more lately. With the cooler weather setting in slowly, this is my ultimate scene that I can say is my "relaxing time": I sit at my table, I'm wrapped in a nice warm blanket, a nice cup of hot coffee in once hand and the entire table is covered with my drawing pencils, markers, coloring pencils and watercolor paints and away I go with a funny show running in the background on TV. It might not be a great moment for most people but it is for me. It's my only time of the week where I can forget about my busy days at work and other daily stresses. I just focus on what I want to do and that is let my imagination run wild and draw.

Like I said last post, I've been pretty sporatic when it comes to my artwork because of so many factors. Mainly, it's about time. I don't have the time to do anything other than go to work, cook, clean, sleep and spend whatever time I can with my fiance. I've been really tired lately and I feel beaten down by time. These things kinda help though. I find some of my best work come from turmoil of some sorts. I remember looking back at some of my best drawings and I remember what I felt while I drew them. I was always letting out some big emotion and it was great that it showed through. So having all these daily stresses and bogged down emotions are a great motivator when I start drawing. Tunnel vision.


Above is something I drew back in February or March. I was actually listening to Bruno Mars' song "Talking To The Moon" and that song had a significant meaning to me at the time and I went with it. Plus I was wanting to be adventurous and try out my markers because I have always been very scared of them. I am not very good with them and was really scared that I would mess us really bad because I'm not very good with them but it turned out better than I thought. It's still not the greatest piece of work I have done but I'm happy considering my skill level with markers suck.


From my last post, I was saying how I was falling in love with watercolors but I needed to venture into more than just flowers and such. Since I love drawing girls and having that anime type style, I actually drew a girl and said, "Why the hell not try it out on her?" It turned out okay ... I'm not entirely happy with it. I think she's pretty but I could have done wayyy better on the dress or the hair but then again it's because of my watercolor painting skill not really being up to par. I want to be good!!!!! So I'm still practicing. I have a drawing in process right now that I'm planning on painting and I'll see how that goes. I'll try to take my time with it so that maybe it might turn out better.

What is your guys' way to let go, be free and relax?

Labels: drawing, inspiration, life, self, thoughts

[ 0 comments ]

I usually go through phases when it comes to art. I don't usually start drawing or doing artsy fartsy stuff unless I really have the urge and the motivation to do it. I never force myself or else my work just doesn't reflect what I can really do - It will really show that I'm not try and it will just look like shit.

However, I realized that around this time of year, my creativity takes peaks. I guess it makes sense ... the weather starts to turn to shit, I don't go out as much so I have the time and imagination to start drawing. For years I've told myself and other people that I just can't paint. It is true. I can't paint. I've tried a few times with the whole acrylic and canvas thing, tried in highschool with watercolors and wow ... compare that work with my pencil/ink drawings and you will be laughing your asses off at how crappy they were. So yeah, I can't paint. Then I discovered watercolor pencils. I actually bought a set about 4 years ago and only used them once (?). I didn't know how to use them properly so whatever I used them for didn't turn out very good which is probably why they were out of sight for 4 years. Through the wonders of the internet and the website DEVIANTART, I noticed that some people were drawing and watercolor painting at the same time and created beautiful stuff. As I looked closely into the details and the information that was given, they were using the same pencils I had!! And of course, through YOUTUBE (ahhh the beauty of that website), and looked at tutorials of how to use these curious things.

This is one of the pieces that I practiced on (the only one that was worthy to show ... the other pieces I tried to "paint" were pretty hilariously bad). NOT BAD!! I rather liked this one for being a hardcore beginner with watercolor. Now I am fascinated with it. I actually like it better than markers! Now I want to buy more watercolor pencils to expand my color inventory and maybe even actually try watercolor palette cakes!! I got very excited. What do you guys think?

I now have many ideas in my head because of watercolors. My fiance and I might actually collaborate soon on a nice piece. He loves fish and aquariums so I proposed that he draw me a couple of his favourite Koi fish and I will paint it for him so we can put it up on one of our walls in the house. He loved the idea! I might even do it for a cherry blossom tree that I have in mind (because I'm obsessed with cherry blossoms) and put that up in the house as well!

I have one drawing that I am working on right now (kicking myself that I left it at home. I would so have worked on it during lunch break at work) that I am little excited about because it will be my first painting of an anime-style drawing. I hope it turns out well. I plan to draw a lot more this fall and winter. I really want to build a really nice portfolio and make prints out of them and decorate the house with them.

I have always loved to draw and I couldn't believe that I would go for months on end not drawing anything. Then again like I said before ... if I don't feel like it, I don't feel like it. Never force yourself to do anything or else you will lose your passion and you will never be happy with what create. That is what art is to me after all. Art is the expression of who you are, what you are feeling and natural instinct. If you don't feel like it and are forcing yourself to do it no matter what it is (could be sculpting, drawing, cooking, baking, WHATEVER), it will show.

Labels: art, drawing, inspirations, life, thoughts

[ 2 comments ]

For the past few months (well to be realistic almost a year), I haven't worn too much makeup. There were a few reasons like I didn't want to spend the time doing it so I kept with just plain eyeliner and some lip balm; I didn't want to wear too much because I was having bad skin problems for a good few months and sometimes I was just too damn lazy. I do okay with just wearing the minimum since I didn't want to look like I hide behind make-up. I never really liked the look of looking like I was in some magazine photo shoot every single day. That's too much work and just TOO MUCH. The only reason I would really doll myself up was for special occasions and even so I didn't put on too much because I am an advocate of a natural look. There are ways to put on makeup and still look like yourself with just an extra flair of elegance, as I like to put it.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate putting on make-up or anything or don't like it in general. I LOVE MAKE-UP! I LOVE the concepts of creativity and challenges that come with it. I love the challenge of being asked for a certain look and how would I execute it. One such thing was the "natural" look I was talking about. It is sort of a challenge because you want to look like you aren't wearing too much makeup (looking almost au natural)but once you get started you end up looking like you are going to some special party when you are only going to work or school and you also spend a good half an hour in the bathroom when it's only suppose to take 10 minutes. I realized if you are person with already really nice skin, it makes a whole of a difference. I don't have the greatest skin so making my skin look decent already is pretty time consuming. The rest is easy, some eyeliner on the top, some blush, mascara and lip balm and away I go (that portion only takes about 5 minutes or less).

Where am I going with all this? I'm not even sure to be honest. I've just been thinking about make-up a lot lately because I do miss it. I miss playing around with the colours, making new looks, finding new ways to make things easier and prettier ... Now that I have a job where I should look a little more decent (more professional I guess since it's an office), I have been wanting to spruce myself up a little more to feel more confident and alive to last me during the day. Plus, I do want to be a freelance make-up artist one day as a side business so I feel like I need to get my bearings down again since it's been a while. I figured, I need to set myself up as an example before I go and start sprucing up OTHER people again. I know I have the skills, I just lack a little practice.

I have been watching a lot of you-tube videos lately too on certain looks. Some make me laugh because they say "natural look" and yet the person looks like she's going to a club and it's 9 in the morning. REALLY? Or I noticed that a lot of girls out there wear A LOT of make-up; like they have an inch of foundation on their face and I don't see how that's a natural look either. Some girls are really good and really show good comparisons and techniques and really do follow through on what their advertising. Good for you girls.

Well ... I'll continue to play around with my make-up at home and see what I can come up with. I already am planning on doing some quick make-up shopping today and see if I can pick up some new stuff for good prices. That's another thing ... I LOVE MAKE-UP but don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on it. I'm the bargain, drugstore type that buys good products but for good prices. I mean, yes, I have some stuff from MAC and Sephora and all that but it has to be an item that I have deemed worth it. I am NOT going to buy a lip liner for $30 when I can get a drugstore one of nearly the same color for $3. See what I mean? That's why I have been shopping around ebay too ... there are soooooooo many nice eyeshadow palettes out there that are 120 colours for only $15!! Imagine that!!

Sigh ... Now I am going to do some shopping on ebay HAHA.

Labels: inspiration, life, thoughts, work

[ 0 comments ]

Work has been so hectic for the last few days. There's nothing like being buried in paperwork. Literally. With the amount of paper on my desk, the banker boxes full of paper, on my shelves, baskets (hanging and cabinets storage) ... it is a surprise that I have not received a papercut yet.

Then here comes Friday where I work like mad since I stepped into my office to only find myself bored with nothing to do for at least an hour before going home. I still have a lot of work to do in respect to my workload but most of remaining work can't be done until Monday. This is what sucks about having some vendors and such on the other side of the country. They are hours ahead so I can't make any phonecalls to ask questions of what I need because they have all gone home for the day. I wish I could just go home now but I don't want to get in trouble for just leaving. Just 40 more minutes at this point then I finally get to go home and relax a bit.

I do love my job though. I love doing something that is actually related to my education, which is accounting. To finally be able to say "I'm an accountant" to someone who asks "what do you do for work?" is a warm and fuzzy feeling. I'm still new to this position though. I still have a lot to go through, learn and experience. That is why I have been working hard over the past few weeks. I was kinda just thrown into this fire of a position and had to learn a lot of things myself so I had a lot of catching up to do. Like I said, there's still a lot of work to do but I'm getting there. I've started finally getting used to certain things, it's easier now to go with the flow with certain tasks but always, a curve ball gets thrown at me and I have to deal with it. It's part of the challenge though so I'm not complaining. All I can say is that it definitely keeps me busy. One good thing about being busy at work is how fast time flies by during the day. I get to work at 8:30AM and by the time I know it's already lunch time. After lunch, then it's easy breezy - time flies even faster. By the time I know it, OH! It's time to go home! Normally, I say, "Oh crap! It's almost time to go home, I'm still not done!" but today is a different story. I'm actually WAITING to go home.

I just need to spruce up my office a bit more. I want to put up some pictures of my own on the wall, put up my own decorations and messages here and there. Maybe I'll put up a couple of posters. I have 2 little mini card pictures of my fiance and I up on my desk and that's pretty much it. It's nice to have my OWN real OFFICE but I want it to actually feel like it's mine by making it more comfortable for me. One day, I'll go out and print out some big prints of my photography with a nice frame and put it up in my office. I'll get a couple of cute little frames to put up maybe a nice picture of my fiance and I and maybe my family. That would be nice.

Labels: life, thoughts, work

[ 0 comments ]

The crochet bug has but me again. I have been wanting to buy some yarn. More needles sizes, and I have been looking for patterns to do and trying to make my own designs. 

Labels: crochet, life

[ 2 comments ]

Planning a wedding isn't easy. I've experienced a little of it when my future sis-in-law was getting married. Now my day is coming and I am starting to feel it. I've barely started and I am already feeling it. I'm in the process of trying to find a venue and it's not easy. I have so many things to consider and which things I need to sacrifice in order to get the venue I want and that will also fit my budget. It's hard to figure out what I can do without, what I absolutely need ... I saw one banquet hall that I had in my head for ages as my venue and when I FINALLY got to see it last weekend, I was disappointed.

First of all, it wasn't even the room I actually wanted because apparently it was too big for me with the number of guests I am anticipating and even if it was a fit for me, it was already booked up 6 months ago. Damn. I saw the one that was a "fit" for me anyway and wow ... I was not excited. It pretty much looked like a glorified community hall which is not what I wanted. So I'm axeing that one. Too bad because the lady was super nice.

I am making an appointment on Sunday with a hotel. The price seems incredibly right and the packages seem really good. I am wondering if it is too good to be true. The only thing is I want to see what it looks like in person. I don't want to get too excited again about the first one only to be disappointed so gravely. A couple of other things are worrying me though or irking me a bit. What kind of hotel/wedding ballroom has their offices closed on weekends??! Seriously! If I was a venue that could potentially hold such big events like weddings, I would be available on weekends. Why? Well first of all, planning these kinds of events are stressful and important and time consuming. In order to afford these kinds of events, people work and most people have 9-5 jobs. Their only time to be able to plan and accomodate is on weekends. So it makes sense to be open on weekends. This place doesn't which is annoying. That would mean I would constantly have to call or e-mail just to get my points across rather than being able to meet and drop by on weekends to discuss my concerns and issues. PLUS ... I cannot find any wedding reception pictures online for this venue. That is weird to me because because I can find any other wedding picture on any Vancouver venue online. This venue is a tough one and I now FOR SURE they hold wedding receptions ... It's raising a few flags on my mind like do they have good service? Is the ballroom nice? Is the food good? If these are all a "no" then maybe that's why I don't hear too much about it? Or am I just thinking too much about it. I guess I won't know until I actually take a look.

There is one other venue that I am in love with and I would take in a heartbeat. However, that being said, the only issue is the financial part of it. It's not a cheap venue and their down deposit certainly isn't either. My parents said they could help me with it but they won't be able to help me until November when they get back from their trip to the Philippines. I'm just scared that by that time someone would have already taken my date of the venue and then I'm screwed. BUT OMG it's beautiful!! I saw this one picture of it decorated online and I AM JUST IN LOVE WITH IT!! I was able to see the venue in person too and it was very nice. My parents even loved it. The whole area is nice. Golf Courses always make nice reception venues because of the views and the ambiance.

I am determined to get a venue soon though. I want that off my list by the end of September at the latest. And once I get a venue, I am going to talk to the priest of my church and start on that marriage course right away. The venue and church are the most important things right now. Everything else can wait a few months because I don't need them right away. My heart starts to skip a beat everytime I think about what's next because it's giving me anxiety that I can't plan all of this and that things are going to go to shit. I think I'm just stressing out too much so I have to give it some time. You can't plan a wedding in a matter of days. It takes time and effort. But it takes money. Saving money for this event is a whole other headache that I do not care to even think about right now. My goodness ... Kari is right about the whole thing ... just elope and have a couple of friends around in the middle of the park. HAHAH. I like the way you think girly girl.

Labels: life, thoughts, wedding

[ 0 comments ]

You know what I'm missing now that I am sitting in front of a computer every day? Blogging. Not just blogging. I miss having my own site. I miss having my own domain and tinkering around with layouts for wordpress and all that. I miss playing with my photoshop to create layouts and play around with coding. Now before I start up again, I want to really think about it because it's a project ... an ongoing project that I actually want to continue for a long time. It's been so long since I have played with HTML/CSS stuff that I am considering myself a newbie all over again.

I could start off slow and just make a new layout for this blogger just to get my bearings again. Really, once school is over and my exams are out of the way, I will have some time again to be reaquainted with my photoshop and my laptop. So I guess I won't really know how I feel about a future dedication until I am done finals. I think I will just start off slow. I'll revamp my blogger and see what I can do.

I am no stranger to Photoshop. I have been on it here and there trying to design my wedding invations and programs. That's a completely different thing though. That's just design and print off. Changing a layout is so much more work because coding is an ongoing process to see what works and what doesn't. I normally would spend hours just coding and coding with lots of frustration about why my left sidebar column won't show up and why my entries are wayyyyyy below than where they should be. I'm starting to get frustrated just thinking about it haha.

I do need more projects though. Without school, it's nothing but work, cook and sleep. I guess it would be nice to just stay at home and design/code layouts. I wont' have to go out as often and have a chance to save some money. Weddings are expensive after all.

Actually, one of my goals right now is to get back up to par with my coding because my fiance might want to restart his business again and he would want me to set up his website. That would be a fun project to do and it would be great if his business was successful as well! I have always wanted to have my own business but I don't know what to do a business about. Well that's a lie. What I really want to have a side business in is becoming a freelance makeup artist. It's difficult though. There are so many freelance makeup artists out there already who are established and who have the education.

I've never been to a beauty school. I would like to but I think at this point in my life, it would be a waste of time and money. I do love makeup though. I love playing with the colors, trying out new looks and applying it on other people. I know a lot of the basics and tips and tricks out there. I just need a push to get started. I need the equipment, I need the portfolio, the need the clientele. I have a few people who are willing to be my models and help me start a portfolio which is nice. I just need to save up money for a new camera because I don't have my DSLR anymore and I have always missed it so very much. My neighbour friend has one that she said she's always willing to lend me anytime I need it so I guess I can always use that if I really need it until I have the money to buy my own. This is a dream that I know I really have to plan out and think carefully about. It's not something that will boom right away. I need a lot of practice and a lot of equipment to get me started. When I have more time I will ask to practice on my friends and take their photos and make a portfolio somehow. Eventually I will have my own website to post these in and maybe someday I can become more established.

It's a dream for now but it's something that I have been thinking of for a while. It's actually something I have been thinking about ever since I got engaged. I was thinking about hiring someone to do my make-up or if I should do my own. Then when I was researching on local make-up bridal artists, I saw what they were charging, their styles and I thought to myself, OMG I can do that!! Why don't I do that as a side job?! Of course it is easier said than done, that's why it's a dream for now.

One of these days I'll be able to do it.

Labels: inspiration, life, thoughts

[ 0 comments ]

So it's been a couple of months and what is new?  Well I am officially full-time now at my job!  I am now an accountant/analyst for my company.  It's exciting because I've only been here for about 5 months and I have already been promoted to a position that any accounting student would dream of. 

It's not that easy though.  I've kinda just been thrown into the fire here and I have to learn a bunch of things by myself.  It's been a little stressful but I'm slowly learning things as I go along.  At least I get my own office now.  Still trying to figure out how to organize everything and I plan on buying a few things to make this office more "mine" so that I feel more comfortable.  I'm a little buried in paperwork but I'm sure it will get better as I go along.  For now, it's great being able to actually have a "real" job and have a job that I have always wanted for a while now. 

Other than my new official job, nothing else much is new.  I am deciding to take a semester off from school to concentrate on work and saving some money for the wedding.  I really want to finally start planning things and putting down deposits so I am trying my hardest to save up for it.  I have a bunch of ideas in my  head that I want to execute and I am hoping I get the dream wedding I have been wanting.

I just have to get over the hump of finishing my final exams next week.  I start to get those queasy, uneasy feelings whenever I think about it.  I have exams.  I cannot wait to get them done and over with.  This whole week is going to be dedicated to studying and praying that I at least pass my exams.  After these exams, I am home free and I can just concentrate on work!!  It's going to be a rough week but I have to suck it up and do it.  Wish me luck!!

I want a little bit of break though.  That is why I am having a girls' night with my best friends this weekend for some sushi and drinks.  We all have been working hard this summer and we haven't seen each other in such a long time.  I miss them so much!!  It'll be nice to get together with them, catch up, have some laughs and hopefully have a good night.  I cannot wait!!

Labels: friends, life, school, thoughts, work

[ 0 comments ]

I am officially 28 years old today! It's been so much fun for the past few days in celebration of my birth.  On Friday my boss at work decided to treat the whole office to a luncheon because it was my birthday! Plus they were sweet enough to get me a birthday card with everyone's signatures and everything. It means so much to me because I've only been at this job for a couple of months and it's nice to feel that I have been welcomed to the company and feel like I've made friends because I love each and everyone of them!! 

Labels: birthday, Family, life, memories, work

[ 0 comments ]

It has been a while my long long blog friend. Life has held me back in a tug of war in so many directions that I feel my limbs aching in every inch possible.

What is new? My long awaited hard work in my weight maintenance has finally shown results!!!!



There is my before and after with a 25-pound difference. All that exercising and watching what I ate has finally paid off!!! It feels really good to wear certain clothes now and have confidence in myself. I no longer feel so ashamed of myself and feel like a hermit. I have more energy and I just feel proud. It just takes time people!!! Don't give up!!!!

Other news?! I finally got a job that I am going to be starting in a couple of weeks. Finally after 6 months of searching and searching and attending interviews I got one!! It feels great because the position is close to my career choice with a promising full-time in the future with decent pay! I can finally start saving for my wedding and have a continuous supply of income!! I'm excited! I hope I do we'll in this position and continue for a long time to come!!

Speaking of wedding, I have been putting it on hold for a while because of school and the fact that I have been unemployed. But my fiancé and I have been talking and we decided to officially set a date of August next year!! I am very excited and I have that spark again of wanting to browse everything "wedding". I have made a few changes to my plans an ideas and I hope everything goes well. I will definitely update in how all that goes. Don't be surprised if this blog becomes a "wedding" blog for a little while lol. I k ow its going to be quite an experience planning a wedding and I'm sure if I blog some tips and things, maybe other brides might find it helpful. I normally am not very good at organizing events and planning things so if I find something helpful, I'm posting it. Luckily I have great girls to help me out (their jobs pretty much revolves around planning things and research already) so hopefully I won't have to stress too much.

I'm in my second last semester right now. It's FINALS TIME!! So far I have passed 1 already so I'm stressing balls about passing another 2 for next week. Studying in a room for hours at a time is not all that fun but gotta do what you gotta do right?! I hope I pass everything so that I can graduate in August!! I'm excited for that too!! I can potentially be done with school in 4 months and be full-time in the workforce!!!! I so badly want to be a working girl and get on with my plans for life. Wish me luck!!!

Labels: Fitness, life, school, wedding

[ 0 comments ]

Amazing how simple motivations can really kick start your will and your spirit.  I am officially addicted to working out and keeping healthy.  I know it's a hard concept to comprehend for some people because I used to be one of those people.  It was always hard for me to understand how people can just workout all the time on their own free will.

That's where the motivation and addiction come into one relationship.  I have a motivation to workout because I am at a point in my life where I am serious about losing some weight and overall boost my self-esteem and gain some confidence in myself.  I pushed that motivated as hard as I could over the last couple of week and where did it get me?  I have lost 2 pounds in a week and another 8 in the last 5 days.  I went down 2 pants sizes and have gained confidence in myself whenever I look at myself now.  How can you say that you would quit after that?  That's where the addiction comes in.  Now knowing that it's possible to lose my wanted weight and possibly lose more and ACTUALLY get to my ultimate weight goal ... I can't stop now.  I'm in too deep and I am doing so well.

To get to my dream weight, I only have to lose 10 more pounds and just keep maintaining it.  I haven't slowed down or slacked off any way since I found out I lose 10 pounds and that's the way to do it.  Just this morning, I was actually up at 6:30am, went for a sunrise morning run for half an hour and continued to do my TAPOUT XT workout for another 50 minutes. 

Nothing is stopping this girl from getting what she wants.  This is one of the first things in my physical life that I have never given up on so far.  I have tried to workout before and quit within a few days but the fact that I have gone for almost a month now and haven't stopped and actually seen results ... I have never been prouder of myself.  This is a shining moment for me.  I don't know if any of you understand what I'm talking about here but if you ever (in whatever it is that you do, it doesn't have to be about fitness) feel so proud and so happy about yourself like you have never before, keep going.  Don't give up.  It's all worth in the end.

It's never easy but it's worth it.

Labels: Fitness, inspiration, life, self

[ 0 comments ]

So I have started working out again. Not a start now, quit later workout like how most resolutions go about because I am quite serious this time around. I have had a lot of things emotionally that has been carving away at me lately and I have finally had enough of it so I started.

I started doing jogs again. I jogged every other day for the past 2 weeks for at least half an hour to start since I'm a beginner runner. I was also including in strength training since my fiancé has weights now.

It was difficult at first because my body wasn't ready for hard workouts but I stuck with it and now I can jog for more than just a lap around the park.

What I'm most excite about is starting TAPOUT XT! I was watching Dr. Oz on Tv one day an they did a bit in Mike Karpenko, a MMA trainer/fighter and his workout regimes that he has put out. It is a 90-day program with about 9 or 10 workouts in the program (I think).

It is like a cross between P90x, Rushfit, and Insanity but A LOT MORE FUN and easier to do. It's not that easy though. You really do have to put the effort in but the moves are fun and i am able to follow. I've been doing it for a week now and so far I've already lost a few pounds and went down 2 pants sizes overall ever since I started running.

Tapout XT is pretty amazing. I actually look forward to each session every morning. I am feeling very fit and sooooo happy to already see results!!! I never had these kinds if result doing P90X in a short period of time. I can really see myself fitting into my goal jeans very quickly.

It's helping me eat healthier too because it just puts me in that state of mind. After a good workout day, I look at junk food that normally I would start to eat and feel guilty if I even touched it. My stomach doesn't actually want it anymore. It doesn't crave it which is mind-boggling to me. In starting to eat more greens, drink coffee with less cream (coffee is my guilty pleasure so I'm still working on it haha), and I don't eat past 8pm.

I'm really proud of myself. Why in the hell would i quit now when it's actually working? This is no longer a resolution, it's a life choice. I am actually excited for the summer so I can wear my pretty summer clothes and not die in heat because I still cover myself up with light sweaters to hide my fat.

My confidence is starting to come back and I am having fun sorting out fun outfits again.

For those of you really try into get fit and shed some pounds, try Tapout XT. It works if you really stick with it. One session can torch about 700-800 calories. With my current weight an height I torch about 878 calories with one session a day. Sometimes I even do 2 sessions a day and burn another 800 calories an have decent meals during the day and still lose weight! It's pretty incredible guys. Try it.

This is my stepping stone to Insanity. Insanity workout is still TOO intense for me because I haven't built up endurance and conditioning yet. After I'm done with this program and continue to jog every other day then I'll try Insanity and continue on with fitness.

I'm going to look so damn good in my wedding dress hee hee!! :D

Labels: Fitness, life, self

[ 0 comments ]

Having my kitchenaid stand-up mixer is dangerous. I have been baking like crazy. I've already made so many cookies, cakes and I was able to make crepes for the very first time! I constantly look for baking ingredients in anticipation of what I can bake next. My fridge is already stocked with cream cheese, milk, sour cream, creams, butter and I have an endless amount of sugar, flour, and icing sugar.

I'm always on Pinterest too looking for future recipes. I just love to cook and bake. I never thought I would love it so much. I always watched my mom cook and loved her cooking but never thought I, myself, would be decent at it. My mother even said to me that before she did t know how to cook at all!! She never started cooking until she got married and just learned from cookbooks.

I guess I was the same way. I never really started cooking until I started dating my fiancé. The one advantage I had was that my mom taught me along the way. She just had to learn from scratch with no help whatsoever. So I guess I'm lucky that way.

I'm lucky too that my fiancé loves my cooking. It feels good to know that he has his favorites of mine and always asks the to cook certain things cause they're really good. Boosts the ego if you know what I mean. It makes me feel better that I can cook decently since my mom is a good cook and his mom is an incredibly good cook too! It's like a bar I had to jump over because of course moms are an important part of some men's lives, especially when it comes to cooking.

Someday I would love to have my future son say, "my mom makes the best food! Nothing beats it!" OR "I love the way my mom makes it". Have a legacy you know?

That's why I plan on documenting all my recipes in a book or something and keep it for years and pass it on from generation to generation. My mom still has her very first cookbook at her house too. It looks so ratty and old but it's a TREASURE. I want something like that except it will all be in my writing. I want my recipes to be a family treasure.

What are your treasures? It doesn't have to do with cooking. Just something that you know you would cherish for a very long time.

Labels: life, memories

[ 0 comments ]

I guess it is nice to be able to blog before the New Year.  Rack up all the entries I can before a new year starts.  I guess I really do have the time since I'm pretty much free for a little while until the school semester starts again.  My fiance is at work so there's not much for me to do but cook, clean and blog!

Speaking of cooking, I realized how much I missed my food blog.  Since I have had some time off, I have been cooking lots and I miss blogging about all the things I have been trying in the kitchen.  I'm thinking of starting a food blog again.  Actually, I already created a new blog just for it but I haven't actually started doing anything with it yet.  I'm still trying to figure out how to start it all and how to go about it. 

In my old food blog, I put up a bunch of my own recipes and instructions but I lost it all and I was too dumb and careless to back it all up so I can't remember what I had already put up.  It would have been nice to just transfer over those entries rather than just starting all over again.  But maybe ... it's better to start all over again.  I can make things more focused and more organized.  I actually not only want recipes but I wanted to do some reviews too of foods that I will try and restaurants that I will eat at. 

I was also thinking of putting up other people's recipes that I want to try and show if it turned out okay or not.  Like right now I am trying a Hainanese Chicken recipe that I saw online and I would like to give my take on it and see if I actually made it right and if it was what I hoped it would turn out like.

It doesn't sound like a bad idea right?  That way too it's kinda like a database for me and my recipes.  I have a habit of losing my recipes when I actually need them.  I'm not planning on putting ALL my recipes online though.  There are some that I would love to keep to myself and make them a secret to keep my wow factor when it comes to feeding people.  I have plans for those recipes and eventually pass them down to my future children too and hopefully they can keep them a secret. - like a recipe that's passed down from generation to generation.

So watch out for that.  I will work on this food blog of mine and hopefully get it up and running soon! I made up my mind!

Labels: food, life, thoughts, website